I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
