just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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