god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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