Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
