hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
