after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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