My room smells like vodka and shame
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
