I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
