Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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