On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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