Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
