The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
