I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
