Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
