By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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