i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
