He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
