We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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