I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
