How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
