O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
