i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she peed on how many people?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
