just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
