I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
don't judge my taste in strippers
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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