Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
