didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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