yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
