this beer tastes like vomit already
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
