Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
