i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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