I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
