yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I party with great urgency now.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
