If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
