Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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