Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
