all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
