I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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