Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
