I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
