my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
