I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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