I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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