i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We're too hungover to prance.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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