M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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