i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
