Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
