Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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