My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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