I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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