It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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